and you rip out all I have just to say that you've won;

[hetero]

[ It's Valentine's Day and Dean is on Cas' doorstep, taking a moment to compose himself into the cool kid everyone knows and loves. He pops his dad's leather jacket's collar up; it's too big for him, but it's obvious he's trying hard to fill it.

There's no reason to be nervous. They're friends and they've always been friends. So he finally knocks on the door. ]

Comments

[hetero]

Goddammit, Cas. You just want me to say it, right? Well, screw you. [ He huffs but does not make any attempt to move away from Cas. He simply avoids looking at him by staring at the lake. ]

[deism]

Please do.

[ but he looks highly smug and amused, stepping comfortably into the uncomfortable personal space ]

[hetero]

[ He stops in his tracks and looks back over to him, still not moving away. ]

Are you really the same dude who freezes up in front of women? ... Did I do this? Is my tongue that powerful?

[deism]

[ just a secretive, small smile, as he looks back to the lake ]

Was today pleasant for you?

[hetero]

[ It takes him a moment to get over his shock, but he also looks out over the lake, his hand reaching for Cas'. ]

A lot better than I thought it would be, that's for sure. I wasn't exactly planning on getting this far, just so you know, you're just frustrating as hell. Sometimes I gotta wonder how much you know already, and not just in a nerdy way.

[deism]

I do not know everything. You expect too much from me.

[ but he squints against the way the sun reflects from the waves, not bothering to shade his eyes with his hand ] But you only need ask.

[hetero]

[ Instead of blinding himself like he assumes Cas is trying to do, he turns his head to him and leans down slightly, so that his breath brushes against his neck. ]

Did you know this was a date?

[deism]

No.

Should I have? [ the last question is added with a bit of earnest curiosity, if there had been tell-tale signs of social courtship. ]

[hetero]

Well, I was taking you out on Valentine's Day. To your favorite restaurant, where I held your hand, and then groped your thigh in the car. [ He laughs lightly. ] But I didn't expect you to.

[ There's a moment where he's silent. He always has a lot of questions for Cas, because he just can't get him, but he never thinks it's important enough to ask. Cas was Cas and he probably wouldn't give a helpful answer anyway. ] You know, you coulda just told me that you were gay. I would've stopped trying to set you up with women.

[deism]

I didn't know it was Valentine's Day. [ a slight reprimand. he expected dean to at least tell him about the relevant holidays when they arrived, but he was in a forgiving and less petulant mood. ] And I saw nothing irregular about your actions.

However, sexuality is... different. [ it was hard to describe it to dean, except maybe ] It has always been you.

[hetero]

[ He pulls away slightly, just to look Cas in the eye. He doesn't get it. ]

Huh? Just me? [ He looks like he has more to ask, but he's not even sure if he's understanding properly at the moment. ]

[deism]

Just? [ he does not understand that reference question. ]

Are you upset?

[hetero]

... No, but... I mean, how long? If you woulda said something, I'd have stopped telling you about my dates... [ He looks guilty, because he didn't know. He just chalked everything up to Cas being weird. ]

[deism]

I enjoyed hearing about your dates.

[ amendment: ] If they were happy ones.

[hetero]

[ He chuckles. ] You're so weird. If you had dates while I... you know, [ had feelings ] I would'a been jealous.

[deism]

To have jealousy means to have hope for an occurrence.

[ he speaks quieter now, a little resigned. ]

[hetero]

[ He pauses before wrapping an arm around Cas, pulling him even closer. ]

Obviously you should've had hope, 'cause look where we are. There was nothin' saying... I couldn't like you. [ Except his flaunting of heterosexuality geez Cas that's all. ]

[deism]

[ he looks up without moving his head, giving a sadder look than he wanted at that statement ]

There was everything.

[hetero]

[ He can't say anything that would deny that. It's not like he made himself particularly available to Cas, or that he would ever show any interest in men. So he just leans over to kiss him very lightly, because he can at least do something to help now. ]

[deism]

[ he lets him, reaching over to stroke his gristly cheek a little to show he wasn't... well. jealous? angry? sad? just a stroke of comfort. ]

It's all right.

[hetero]

[ And he does feel better at that, pulling back and looking to the lake. It was getting darker, and though he liked the lake at any time of day, he figured maybe--just maybe--he should consider how Cas feels. ]

Do you wanna go home?

[deism]

It's colder now. [ he says it in a detached way, like he thinks dean is cold, and he isn't. ]

I'm sorry I forgot it was Valentine's Day.

[hetero]

[ He laughs a little louder than he was expecting, wrapping his arms around Cas further because he missed the tone and assumed Cas was cold. ]

It's not anything special. We coulda done this any other day.

[deism]

Yes.

But it was remiss of me. I should have gotten you a present. [ placidly allowing the arm thingy to occur, and leaning into him slightly ]

[hetero]

I didn't get you a present, did I? We're both jerks. [ But he freezes slightly as he thinks. Cas seemed pretty into the presents, and he did get him some chocolate before. ]

... Do you want something?