and you rip out all I have just to say that you've won;

[hetero]

[ It's Valentine's Day and Dean is on Cas' doorstep, taking a moment to compose himself into the cool kid everyone knows and loves. He pops his dad's leather jacket's collar up; it's too big for him, but it's obvious he's trying hard to fill it.

There's no reason to be nervous. They're friends and they've always been friends. So he finally knocks on the door. ]

Comments

[hetero]

[ He frowns when Cas shows no reaction to the moves Dean was placing on him. He didn't understand what was so important about wiping his hands off who does that. It wasn't exactly surprising, though, considering it's Cas and Dean knows he'll have to be more forward if he really wants to get anywhere. Usually he has no problem with being forward, but that's with girls he's just looking for a night with. With Cas, he feels, he wants more though he doesn't particularly know what more is; he only feels that Cas wouldn't really want it. ]

That trench coat doesn't need to be any dirtier. [ They near the grocery store and Dean moves his hand to park, letting out a breath once the car stops. ]

[deism]

[ he only gives a small hrmph in response, a gutteral rejection of such a false statement. though the laundry days were always the hardest, and anna always took pity on him on those days when he wandered around the large mansion as he waited for the laundry machine to finish. he efficiently unclipped the seat belt, and though absently it was a shame he couldn't always touch dean. but he was already moving out of the car.

with the door half-open, he leaned back in to tap dean on the shoulder. ]

Wait here. [ he closed the door properly, and strode purposefully towards the store. though he walked with a serene absent-mindedness, the way he managed to cross the parking lot without looking both ways and having several near-misses were certainly harrowing. ]

[hetero]

[ Dean was in the process of getting out when Cas told him to wait, so he makes an exaggerated sigh and leans back in his seat. He watches Cas carefully, though he doesn't particularly have time to consider him because of the way Cas apparently lived life on the edge. He mutters to himself and doesn't particularly understand why he has Feelings toward this trench coat wearing weirdo. ]

[deism]

[ he comes back a little while later in his serene state, carrying a paper bag. he enters the car again, shuts the door, and sits there with his closed bag with a plain expression. after a moment, he looks at dean. ]

Will you be going home now?

[hetero]

[ He turns and leans forward, as if trying to look into the bag. Even if it was something private, Dean didn't really care. They'd known each other forever, it didn't matter. ]

'course not. Where do you wanna go next? [ He smiles with sincerity, perhaps only dampened by the fact that he was sneaking his hand into the bag. ]

[deism]

[ he lets him, because the bag basically just has chocolates in it. ]

If you're tired, you can always go home and sleep before the big night.

[hetero]

I'm full'a energy. And so's baby. We'll take you anywhere.

[ He takes a piece of chocolate out and starts eating it. He doesn't think too much about why Cas bought it, until he remembers that "big night" meant Valentine's Day and he looks down at the bag. ]

Oh, sorry, were these for someone?

[deism]

Yes. You.

[ he takes out another box, except this one is actually in the shape of the heart. he arranges the ribbon on it carefully. ]

Don't eat this one. You're giving it to Anna.

[hetero]

[ His eating slows until he finally swallows, but he continues to look at Cas in confusion. ]

... Why? Is she lonely or something? [ Because Anna is cute and he wouldn't mind helping her feel better, but Cas' family had always tried to keep him away from her. ]

[deism]

It will make her happy. [ he puts the chocolate back in the bag, but he takes out the other one for dean to eat. he opens them helpfully and balances them on his knee as he tilts his head to try and gather his thoughts. ]

[hetero]

[ He eats, as he is never one to turn down some candy, but he leans even closer to Cas. ]

Look, I'm all for hitting on Anna, but why exactly are you encouraging it? It's kinda creepy.

[deism]

[ he picks up a chocolate and shoves it in dean's mouth, a little ruffled. his brow is creased, like he's anxiously thinking about something. ]

I thought you liked her.

[hetero]

[ He makes a face but eats it. He thinks he would have liked it better if it were done more delicately. ]

She's hot, sure, but... I mean, I wasn't planning on taking you back home any time soon. [ His smile has turned somewhat sheepish, because he's actually telling the truth about this. ] I probably won't see her today, that's all. And late Valentine's candy is really lame.

[deism]

I'll tell her it's from you. [ he studies him for anther moment, shoving another chocolate into his mouth without particularly thinking. he had thought dean was interested in his sister, and while he certainly didn't approve, anna had always been his closest sibling. she used to tell him what to do, but nowadays, she seemed to uncomfortably insisting he do what he wanted.

it was just easier to think about what she wanted him to do. ] Where did you want to go?

[hetero]

Don't give them to her. [ He sighs when he gets a break from Cas shoving chocolates into his mouth. He moves closer, until their noses are almost touching. His eyes move from looking into Cas' eyes to his lips, because he knows what he wants to do but it's not like he wants to force it. He thinks, even from this proximity, Cas won't get it anyway. ]

I wanna go to places you like.

[deism]

[ his brow furrows. he doesn't know why he shouldn't give them to her, but pushing it didn't seem like the best option. besides, his mind was already complicated by trying to figure out what places he likes. this is called free will, and he still doesn't know it. if michael had been asking him, then church would be the easy answer. or gabriel, then the candy store. but where he liked? ]

We could go to your house.

[hetero]

[ He laughs and shakes his head. He could never really understand Cas or anything he said. Even though he tried, he wasn't sure how to take it. Did he really like Dean's house or was he only trying to appease him? He figures it's the latter, since he tends to assume the worst. ]

That's a place you like? I'm sure you got better options than that. Sam'll be there, anyway.

[deism]

How is he? [ if anything, he thought dean would be even happier with his little brother there. if there was anything the people in this town knew about the winchesters, it was that they ran a tight family business, and emphasized the family part about it. ]

[hetero]

[ And Dean's face does relax and he starts to talk about Sam.] He's great. Been asking me about girls lately, I couldn't be prouder. [ The pride in his face is more of a father's pride than an older brother's, but after a moment he remembers exactly what he's trying to do. ]

Cas--don't talk about Sam right now. [ He bites his lip out of nervousness as he moves his hand to Cas' thigh. He wonders how much it'll take to get his point through. ]

[deism]

Why not?

I like hearing about him. [ he was glad that sam was doing well. even though he wasn't the closest to sam, sam was a good friend. he wouldn't want to see sam grow up to be a drug addict. he also thought sam had a lot of potential as a scholar. he frowned slightly at dean's rebuke, and leaned closer, putting his hand firmly on dean's knee. ]

[hetero]

[ He opens his mouth to respond, but when Cas leans closer, he figures it's not worth it anyway. Cas would just keep going on and on about Sam because he liked to ruin the moment without realizing it. But he's tired of waiting, so he leans forward to place his lips on Cas'. He's nervous, but the kiss is hard and direct because he's sure that's the only way to get the point across. ]

[deism]

[ he freezes for a moment, and then yanks himself back so far that he hits his head against the window. he lands with a hard thunk, but he's breathing heavily and staring at dean with wide open eyes, gripping at the seat and the dash until his knuckles turn white. ]

[hetero]

[ Dean's also surprised because--well, he doesn't know why. Of course Cas wouldn't like it, of course he'd move away, of course Cas didn't like him like that, and of course Dean just ruined it. It was simple, and he'd expected it, so he doesn't know why he feels hurt about it. ]

Sorry, I... [ He doesn't have an excuse and bites the inside of his cheek before moving a hand up to Cas' head. It sounded like it hurt. ]

You OK?

[deism]

[ he breathes unevenly for a moment, as if unable to even close his eyes. he watches him nervously, and then finally tries to talk. he doesn't understand. he knew dean liked girls. dean liked anna. was this another social ritual he hadn't read about? it had been unexpected, and his heart was beating faster than when he thought he had missed a sale on burgers.

he flinches slightly when dean's hand brushes against the bump on his head, but he stares at him, focused on his eyes. ]

I don't understand.

[hetero]

[ Dean, for once, finds it hard to look him in the eye. He looks anywhere but Cas, mainly at the seat they were both leaning on. He feels guilty, for surprising Cas and most likely making their friendship awkward until they eventually stop hanging around each other. ]

For such a nerd, you're really stupid. [ What was the point of insulting Cas at a moment like this? He didn't know, but it was what came out. ] I've been... I... just wanted to. I've been wanting to. For a while. [ It's not the most coherent of him, but he's not sure how to explain it without outright saying it and that is off the table. ]